Archive | November, 2011

Mainstream America is Getting Me down

29 Nov

I am a little depressed about mainstream america. Mostly there’s a few statements that really bug me. Like “It really bothers me when people think the world owes them something.” Why? Why would that bother anybody? I mean if they’re wrong about that expectation, they certainly will learn. I think the more accurate statement would be “It really bothers me when people think the world owes them something because it might get them somewhere.”
OR the fact that the twilight movie is so big. Or that Obama is so unpopular, just because of the economy. I just feel like everybody is selfish and will not see things outside of their own corners, want to be bubbled off and not see the world at all.

Monday Blues

28 Nov

This is where I am today–Isn’t this the way things can go–

Just very stream of conciousness, thinking of how things are not fair, that people group up to get stuff and then the ones that can’t get in a group they end ump hurting.

I hate the saying squeeky wheel gets the grease, but I don’t like being the quiet wheel either.

What is a way, where I can get what I want. Well the thing is I don’t exactly know WHAT i want either all the time–sometimes just “not that.” Trust the process.

Sometimes I just need to grab on that kernel and focus on it, and hold on.

Who knows

22 Nov

Where the day will end? What things we will have here? For instance right now I’m annoyed at my coworker, is it her fault or mine? The answer is neither. It’s nobody’s fault–just a misunderstanding.

These misunderstandings can sit and have echoes that turn into horrible things or strong things. I guess that’s why those loaded moments are so important–they are the joints in life–the places where things have some give, and therefore there’s a lot of attention. They are the moments where we can choose to weaken or strengthen some connection or other. I think a smart person uses those moments to their benefit.

Thanksgiving Week

21 Nov

A new day and anything can happen even though it’s grey and windy and boring around here. It’s thanksgiving week and all sorts of things can be going on, stuffing and turkey and sleepiness and parades and football–though most of those things I’m not exactly fond of. (Except stuffing–YUM!)

Everything is in that November normal dreariness, just a grey drizzle dripping down, nothing interesting, everybody kind of apathetic and dull.

Why don’t people try? Why don’t I try?

Dear America

18 Nov

Dear America,
Please don’t let the Penn State and college pervert reports be taken out on gay men. I know that people get pretty mad, and I am pretty mad too, but what happened here has nothing to do with gay men or same sex attraction of any kind. These are not gay people, they are sick people.

America I’m afraid somebody innocent is going to get hurt. I’m afraid that the victims will get forgotten. I’m afraid that everything will get so caught in emotional reactions that no real change will occur. We cannot get so revulsed that nothing effective gets done; we cannot be so angry that somebody gets hurt.

I know that pedophiles are scary–but there’s sensible things people can do to protect their children. It’s scary but we are not powerless.


17 Nov

This is the way we get to where we’re going. One by one, in simple parallel lines. As if anybody knew where we were going or what we were doing, really knew. And to cover up that not knowing they talk loudly about their beliefs. But there’s no real reason to believe anything. There’s only things to make the walk better.

Oh yeah and we’re all connected to each other by a rope around our waists. And we’re wearing fatigues. And for some reason most people look down at their feet though nobody tells them to.

16 Nov

Well there’s a new place that I’m at today–a little blurty, dylanish, I’m on the pavement thinking of the government, you know.

Well the news says that Occupy is less popular, for whatever reason. Why in America are things constantly shown from a popularity point of view? Well I suppose that comes from another point of view.

Anyway, getting super distracted over what other people think around me and conversations about all sorts of things that go around and around, why do we even care about this stuff, back and forth and back and forth, who is right and who is wrong.

VERY Much when doves cry, sometimes I feel like I have a distance between me and others, like I’m in my own and only world, where the udnerstanding isn’t the individual WORDS so to speak but the whole flavor of the thing.

Penn State

14 Nov

I think that the Penn State Molestation thing is horrible in about 50 ways.  1.  That the molestation happened in the first place.  2.  The insufficent responses of oh-so-many people involved. 3.  The all over the map but ultimately horrid responses coming from the reporting, from disbelief, to rioting, to really trying hard to find people to blame.  None of these behaviors will help ANYONE.

And that’s the thing, finding a scapegoat will not make these things fail to happen again, because it wasn’t one person’s fail, it was the SYSTEM”S fail, and while I think that all the individuals should be made culpable, Penn State needs to look at why Penn State and the wider community continously ignored someone who was a predator, and basically allowed him free access to the area’s socially at risk boys to feed his own desires.  Do they think the boys don’t matter?   It certainly sounds like that.

Also through this I got pretty much the only useful information ever on Yahoo–almost always they’re advertisments hidden behind news, but the BIRG and CORF thing is really interesting and falls at the heart of hero-worship.  Is hero-worship healthy?  The end of the article says they need new leaders to believe in, but MUST we have leaders to believe in (as members of the “herd?”)  How about, not holding someone up so high that we can’t see their mistakes?  How about not needing to follow anything unquestioningly?  Isn’t this a clear case as to how that can be dangerous?  And the sort of devotion given to coaches, verses the sort of devotion given to cult leaders isn’t as clear cut as we’d like it to comfortably be?

Perfect Family

10 Nov

I always wanted to have a temper.  I wanted people to be like OOOOH be careful, he’s got a temper.  But I don’t.  I’m warm and kind and laughy, and I certainly can have my nervous freak-outs now and then, but not a temper to be seen.

I’m thinking of my childhood and my Italian neighbors.  I’m thinking of the fabric softener that the family smelled like, and the pool in their backyard.  How they had a farm with horses, even a big clydesdale, and fun parties, and the longest driveway you’ve ever seen ever.  They had waterbeds even for their kids, when that was thought to be a good idea.

They looked so perfect from next door, absolutely picture post-card perfect family.  I’m sure they weren’t, but I never saw that part.  Just smiling perfection for each person.

Commerce; a riddle.

9 Nov

Say you had a friend who sold vacuum cleaners door to door.

Say that friend was staying at your house.  And you graciously listen to his vacuum spiel and politely decline.

So he starts putting up signs stating how you need a vacuum.  He gets your child to beg for one.  He makes every conversation end up being about vacuum cleaners, and is constantly popping up on your facebook with little messages about vacuums.

Would that friend last very long?  No.  What else in our society acts like this “friend?”