The Things I’m Afraid Of

29 Oct

For Halloween I’m going to put down the I’m afraid of.

1.  Cockroaches–I’m afraid of and disgusted by cockroaches.   In Haiti, where I lived for a bit, they had HUGE roaches, like thumb sized, and they would come crawling out like disgusting hellspawn.   You could hear them clicking on the stone floors.  UGH.  Then in South Carolina they had the charmingly named Palmetto Bugs which were pretty much the same thing.   I remember sitting in a screened in porch as they crawled up the outside of the screens.   YUCK.

2.  Driving–I HATE driving, and will avoid it at almost any costs (thank god I’m in a city with good public transport!)   I’m not quite phobic about it, but it’s something that gives me an absolute headache to do.

3.  The Grind–One of my more metaphysical fears is that I will end up spending my life toiling in my current job or one very much like it with nothing to show for it at the end of my life.   I don’t mind working, but a life built around working, specifically a life built around working that has very little significance for me, sucks.

4.   Groups–I’m not agoraphobic or anything–I get very uneasy when groups get an unhealthy sort of vibe–when gossip is going thick and fast, and they seem to be acting out beyond each individual like some sort of hydra.   Like sharks that sense blood, they can get very bullying and nasty if you’re at the wrong end of it.

5.  People who think it’s ok to intentionally harm other people just because “they deserved it.”  They are my true definitions of monsters.

6.  Being Stranded–I can handle some losses, but the idea of being stranded somewhere with NOTHING, I don’t even know how I’d get out of that one.    Complete helplessness would be about the worst thing I can think of–no income, no way to function. .   Worse would be being stuck somewhere where everybody thought of me with hostility.   I would never survive jail.

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