Pop Culture Friday: Narcissist Edition–Mirrors, Entanglement, and Tom Cruise!!!!

26 Apr


1.  Justin Timberlake, Mirrors–Ok, the song is…nice…not great, not pushing limits, but very professionally done and nice.  Ok, so it can be a little sentimental, and verges on being sappy, but it comes off as…nice.    One of the interesting thing about pop songs is that they always profess to be about love, but mostly they’re the fantasy of love.  This song is squarely on the fantasy kind, and it’s kind of strange how the guy begging a girl to come back to him is its own love-song genre.   So as a listener we’re supposed to pretend to be in this situation where some guy has messed up and is telling us how special, how necessary we are to him.  And the weirdest part of this song is how he’s saying we (the love interest) is necessary because we’re just like him.    It would be amazing if they had a video where Justin was singing to himself, but alas, the video is an old couple remembering their relationship.   Because that’s all you do when you’re old is sit and remember things.  The video is ok (well EXTREMELY sappy), until he’s in this mirror tunnel dancing with young women with white hair for no reason.  Oh and the tune?  I dunno, it’s kind of like an adult upgrade of the teen-pop he sang in the 90’s.  Maybe not an adult upgrade, but it’s like we’re at the Senior Prom instead of the Junior prom.

2.   Whiskey Beach By Nora Roberts—Now there’s a beach I could spend some time on.  I’m imagining it’s this beach where everybody kind of burbles about how much they love you and get a little bit weepy, but you’ve got to watch out for the fistfights man.    For more than three hundred years, Bluff House has sat above Whiskey Beach, guarding its shore—and its secrets. But to Eli Landon, it’s home… I find this tagline very weird.  Can a place usually only be considered home or a three hundred year old house watching over a shore?  Does Eli Landon live in a lighthouse?  Are there PIRATE secrets?  H

A Boston lawyer, Eli has weathered an intense year of public scrutiny and police investigations after being accused of—but never arrested for—the murder of his soon-to-be-ex wife.  I would think he can safely consider her his ex-wife now at any rate.     And no alimony!

He finds sanctuary at Bluff House, even though his beloved grandmother is in Boston recuperating from a nasty fall.  Did he push her?   Did she break a hip?  Is she waiting in her living room trying her hardest not to pee, waiting for her grandson to show up and help her get to the bathroom?

 Abra Walsh is always there, though. Whiskey Beach’s resident housekeeper, yoga instructor, jewelry maker, and massage therapist, Abra is a woman of many talents—including helping Eli take control of his life and clear his name.  What kind of woman is named Abra?  Also does she really do these things, or is she just kind of bragging–I mean Whiskey Beach doesn’t really sound like a thriving metropolis here.  I bet you she made one keyring and watched a massage video once.  She sounds really annoying.   I bet you if she marries Eli she’ll call herself Abralandon all one mushed up word, and embroider it on her clothes.  Because it’s her style.

 But as they become entangled in each other, they find themselves caught in a net that stretches back for centuries—one that has ensnared a man intent on reaping the rewards of destroying Eli Landon once and for all…  That’s one huge net.  Also they’re entangled with each other and ensnared with a man who wants to destroy Eli.  That’s one big mess of mixed up twine.   I bet this net was handmade by Abra and it’s made out of old kitty sweaters and cheerleader pom-poms and the only reason that Eli got ensnared at all was because he felt sorry for her.  In fact I bet this little promo was written by none other than ABRA HERSELF!!!!!!

3.  Oblivion–HOLY COW have they been selling the bejeezus out of this one.  Honestly, you can’t even step one foot on the web without seeing Tom Cruise posing in his white suit.  Every so often there’s a film where I’ve seen so many ads for it that I don’t want to watch it anymore, for now, this is it.  It kind of looks like armageddon and really dumb Doctor Who, and a million other things.  I can tell that the story here is going to be TC going to earth, and finding out what really destroyed everything.  He’ll be the hero (Tom Cruise is ALWAYS the hero) and spout out a bunch of catch phrases, and though it doesn’t look bad, it looks old–that’s the word, old in the bad way, like a bad James Bond right before they change the actors around or a television series when they start recycling their own material.   Keep in mind this is coming from someone who LOVES old things–give me a bunch of movies from the thirties or some dusty old book and I’ll go at it until my eyes pop, but this one just looks old like stale bread or yesterday’s pizza.


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