28 Aug

When I was in Christian boarding school, one of the proctors came up to me and asked me what I believed in. He wanted to know if I believed in God. Only in Christian schools does a person go through this on a regular basis, as if belief in God would evaporate as soon as the mind wandered onto something else. Well I was in a bit of a cranky mood that day and I said I believed in luck, not because I believe in luck particularly, but because I wanted to be a bit of a jerk. Well his eyes bugged out and he shouted that it was the stupidest thing he’d ever heard.
To me, spiritual belief is the most personal thing in the world, more personal than sex, or any secret. I think this because it’s so very easy to make someone else’s beliefs sound stupid. I mean, belief is always a case of faith, there’s no proof, that’s a part of the package of believing in the first place. I don’t have to base on faith things like apples are red (usually) or squares have four corners, or gravity pulls me towards the earth rather than away from it. Those things are reasonably true. Faith requires a gap of not knowing, a space where there is a big old question mark, and no matter how smart you are or how much figuring you do there’s no way to fill it.
We fill in the gaps all the time. We don’t know what other people are thinking, yet we presume we do. We work from day to day with gaps of information, but like an eye fills up its blind spots, so do we fill up the world. Very likely not the real world, as if a person could conceive of such a grand thing, but our own versions of it. A thousand rules fill our heads that govern how we see things, what we notice, what is normal and what is not. We don’t question them, we hardly even notice them, we have faith that they fill in the gaps enough for us to function.
I am not advocating for God or against him, I’m just saying there’s a whole lot that we don’t know, and isn’t it wonderful more than not.

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