The Heart of the Matter

26 Jul

PHEW!  I am tired today–work lately has been like Lucy and Ethel in the chocolate family (I do hope you know what I’m talking about), running about, making sure that each item is ticked off just as more items come in their endless parade.  

And because I work in a hospital where urgent is a well defined flavor, where rushing is for a reason and not just for rushing, I get worried in these moments, that I’ll be caught like Lucy with a mouthful and shirtful of chocolates, checking and triple checking but also worrying that some important action has slipped by on the conveyor–

I realize I have to let go.  I have to know that I am doing my best, my absolute best to do all the things that must be done, that I’m using my hands for helping, that I’m using the right kind of gentle resolve needed to make sure that all the frightened and sad and tired (and sometimes angry) people are taken care of.  At least as far as it goes under my responsibility.  I want to focus on the people, and not on all the actions and forms to do, on those that need care who are more important than all the files and numbers in the world.

I’d be lying if I said that these files and numbers don’t threaten to engulf me from time to time.  But how hard I listen, like someone trying to piece out a tune in another room, for the voices of people within.  They are always there.  Beating hearts underneath it all.

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