The Blind and The Deaf Dancing

8 Feb

The subconscious is an odd country, filled with urges and motivations that flit just beyond awareness, but have oh so much influence in what I do from day-to-day. I couldn’t even come up with a percentage, but think about how many activities we leave to that area to do and how little the conscience mind really controls.
I realized something today, at work I am given a large amount of tasks to do (that’s not what I figured out, you have to wait for it.) Most of these tasks I mostly do automatically, only paying attention to the parts that take some reasoning or decision-making–the rest I leave to my internal hard-drive. The problem with that is when anybody says “why did I do [any task] like that?” I immediately get defensive. Had it been something I had thought about, I could easily give an explanation and not feel threatened, but with this stuff, I can’t, and even when I try, my explanations don’t hit the mark.
That’s the subconscious right there–the part that HATES being noticed. The subconscious does not reason–it’s more like a worm in a maze, moving forward when there’s no boundary, going around when there is. The motivations might be a bit more complex, but the actions are essentially the same. I cannot answer why I do subconscious things a certain way for the same reason I cannot explain why I walk in my way, why I like the art I do, why I like oatmeal and not grits, or any number of activities. The best answer is I do them the way I do them because I must do everything in some way or not at all.
Everybody works this way. If you ever multitask that means one task is left to the subconscious (and maybe both). If I had to say an essential difference between the conscious and subconscious is that the conscious has a tendency to break things down and the subconscious has a tendency to put things together. Those are very different tendencies! No wonder we cannot explain things “down there,” that our dreams are in a place beyond logical rules or reason, that our feelings seem to have gravity all their own. The trick is getting these two sides to work for the same team not playing tug-of-war with each other.
I’m curious, how do I talk to a dream? How can these sides interact? It seems like having a blind person and a deaf person attempt conversation, but if you think about it, couldn’t they, in their own fashion, with effort, succeed? Wouldn’t their conversations be beautiful, unworldly things, like a dance? Wouldn’t they carry revelations?

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